Pox in the City

When a recent visitor to the house saw some of my shoe collection, instead of commenting on the layer of dust that is draped over most pairs, she said, ’Oh you’re just like, you know, that girl out of Sex and the City!’ The sex-mad one? ‘Oh, no the writer one, Carrie.’
Having coincidentally spent the evening before with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda, I knew exactly what she meant. And you know what? My visitor was right. I am just like Carrie Bradshaw, although my life is a bit more Pox in the City than Sex in the City. Here’s how me and Carrie compare:

Carrie writes about sex, relationships and fabulous shoes.
I write about verucas, herpes and purple wellies (see previous posts).

Carrie writes features for Vogue
I dream of writing features for Vogue. At the rate my career is developing, I expect to be pitching ideas like: Mother-of-the-Bridegroom - advice for fashionistas over-70; How to camouflage incontinence pants under this season’s tight flared trouser suit; Publishing my first novel at the age of 80 - a personal literary journey.

Carrie has fabulous highlighted hair and a 'strong' nose
I have dried out highlighted hair and a 'strong' nose.

Carrie has amazing shoes, and wears them even in the snow.
I have cheaper versions of Carrie’s fabulous shoes but sink into the gravel in the driveway just walking to the car, and well, let’s not even mention snow boots or wellies.

Carrie loved Aidan but wouldn’t marry him so she doesn’t love Aidan anymore
I will love my Aidan, blisters and all, as only a mother can a son, forever, no matter what.

Carrie gets taxis everywhere – can’t blame her in those shoes.
I’ve only used a taxi once in Norway and that was the day we arrived and needed to get from the airport to the city centre. The fare was more than a month’s driver’s salary in Manila where we had just moved from. I’d prefer spend the money on shoes.

In the ‘Sex and the City’ movie, Big has a massive walk-in closet built for Carrie.
My Mr. Big kindly turns a blind eye to the spare bedroom I have commandeered as an extension to my closet. He also pretends to believe me when, in answer to the question, 'Is that new?', I say, 'Oh, no I've had this ages'.

Carrie has dated Big on-and-off for 10 years. I'll soon be married 10 years.

Carrie creates fascinating articles and books on sex and the city on her Mac laptop.
My husband is buying me a Mac laptop for our 10th wedding anniversary on which I will continue to write drivel such as this.

Oh, you know, this list is endless, but I can’t go on. There’s a boy who needs another layer of calamine lotion applied to his blisters, a load of washing in the drier to be sorted, and of course I really should go run a duster over my shoes; poor things don't get out much.

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Five-Browns said...

That was the read of the week. Not quite what you are aiming at but I guess right now I would rather read your stuff than Carrie's!

Great post and FREAK, I love your shoes....and the cupboard they reside in.

laurie said...

what a funny post! i loved the comparisons. i might be one of the only girls in america who has never seen that show, but the hype around it is so extensive that i feel as though i've seen every episode.

Thriftcriminal said...

Who? Oh the one that was in Striking Distance with Bruce Willis? As opposed to the one that was in Manequin and Big trouble in Little China (great film). Sorry, would rather drive skewers into my eyes than watch a nanosecond of SATC (can't even type it fully, would require hand removal. have to go wash them as it is...)

OSLO said...

F-B and Laurie, thanks for laughing :-)
Thriftcriminal - the skewers are in the post

Aidan said...

Brava, molto bene! That was a great post altogether.
You can write your own words, somebody else write's Carrie's words for her.....

beaverboosh said...

Wow you guys are sooooo alike! Except you don't have as many shoes.

samual said...

hey im new to your blog, i like reading the witty yet insightful posts in to your life in norway, i plan to spend a year there myself at a folkehøgskolene :-D

this post was particularly entertaining though! haha

ireneintheworld said...

great post jo. here's to your 80th! x

Michele said...

LOL! Way fun post. And I agree with Five-Browns---your shoes are FABulous! Especially the hot pink strappy sandels. My dear, I'm thinking you need to move to a warmer climate just so you can get those shoes out into the light of day. :-)

OSLO said...

Aidan - thank you.
BB - that's not all my shoes, but you're porbably right that Carrie as more - at the moment ;-)
Samuel - thanks for visiting and stroking my ego.
Irene - thank you. Hope I'll still be wearing ridiculous high heels when I'm 80 :-)
Michele - I got the pink ones in Selfridges in Manchester, and am taking them to Ireland to wobble around town in.Saw them on a magazine photo shoot afterwards which was nice. A warmer climate sounds lovely, but then what would I do with all my fabulous winter boots?!