You know you've been here too long when....

It’s official; I’ve been living in Norway too long (3 years, 7 months and 15 days).
Neither my husband nor I eat cheese but with my new intention to eat less meat, I found myself gazing at the cheese fridge in Smart Club the other day, searching for ricotta to use in vegetarian lasagna.

A complete stranger, standing nearby, a young woman of similar age to me, ahem, asked me what cheese I’d recommend. I wondered if perhaps I’d heard her wrong and that she was a shop employee trying to entice me to buy some fancy new cheese or other, because dear people, complete strangers do not talk to you in Norway (unless they are begging or selling something).

I told her that I didn’t eat cheese, which made me look a bit stupid loitering in front of shelves of the stuff, so added that I needed it for my son, who was sitting in my trolley. She asked how old he was, and marvelled at how big he is for his age. At 18 months, he’s bigger than most two-year olds which is weird given that I’m so small – we look a bit like Laurel & Hardy, the latter in nappies, without the moustaches and cheap suits – I digress.

Basically she made chit-chat, asking where I was from, talking about her sister-in-law who lives in Brighton and who is pregnant, and the sister-in-law’ son who is two and obese, and so on. And all the time, while pleased that I was managing to maintain a conversation in Norwegian – albeit predominantly on the receiving end of it – I was think of my wallet in a bag in my trolley and wondered if this was some sort of rouse to rob me. I mean really, what was this woman’s ulterior motive in talking to me?

But there wasn’t one. She was just being friendly, something that back home happens everyday. Shame on me for being so suspicious.

Thank you again to all who wrote in with helpful tips on sourcing organic meat in Oslo and on vegetarianism. I bought no meat this week, but after two days of a really tasty lentil vegetable stew, my husband was craving a Thai chicken pizza, so I gave in. Still, today we’re having homemade veggie burgers with a few sausages on the side for the carnivores, and I’m definitely going to get around to using that darn ricotta in a lasagna before the vegetables allocated to it crawl out of the fridge. We’re not going to become full-blown veggies but I’m certainly going to make an extra effort to try meat-free dishes several evenings a week. If nothing else, it’ll be easier on my pocket.

A different type of turkey

And continuing on the turkies on telly theme - real ones this time - I caught the end of a documentary on the animal rights organisation PETA last night. There was horrendous footage on the mistreatment of turkies in a factory somewhere in the US. It really did get me thinking of either becoming a vegetarian - although I think I'd struggle to completely replace my animal protein with tofu, free-range eggs and lentils - or at least trying only to buy free-range chickens killed in a humane manner. But then I remembered that I live in Norway.

Besides being over-priced and pumped up with water, chicken breasts here comes in three types: two-breast, family and economy packs, all from the same company. There's no such thing as free-range chicken with the name of the farmer provided on the pack. The same with all meat in fact: no product choice, or consumer information provided on the products available. The same with dairy produce - two companies and very little variety. When I go into a supermaket in Ireland these days, I'm overwhelmed to the point of anxiety by the range of dairy and meat products available. At least though, if you want to buy organic, ethically produced foods, you can.

Supermarkets in Norway are on a par with those in Manila in terms of product range but without the helpful bag-packers at the checkout. They are small, often poorly-stocked, and it is almost impossible to do all one's shopping in one place.

But back to the turkies and chickens. I don't know how chickens are treated in slaughter houses in Norway but I doubt the premium we pay for their meat is due to the luxury conditions in which they meet their demise. So, please save me from a either a bad conscience or indigestion: does anyone know where one can buy free-range chicken breasts in my part of Norway (without sourcing a farmer oneself)?

Photo: Konrad Busslinger