Living dangerously

I learnt some interesting facts about moose from yesterday’s Aftenposten. Gosh I miss The Irish Times. But, anyway.  Page nine, full-page story, headline: ‘Moose threaten the forest’, tells us that in 2007/2008, 2094 moose were killed in traffic (844 were killed by trains). Poor moose. Poor drivers. As the article points out, moose are the largest animals living in the wild in Europe – having seen a few, this is totally credible – so you can imagine that the people who lived to report their moose-collisions probably wrecked their cars and possibly a bone or two. It got me thinking: isn’t living in Norway a little bit more dangerous than living in Ireland?  Consider the following health hazards:

1.     Moose collisions.

2.     Icicles/Ice slides from roofs of buildings (see previous post).

3.     Choking over the prices of lettuce, milk, bread, kids’ shoes, chicken,… this list could merit its own blog, so I’ll stop there.

4.     Stress/loneliness/depression caused by scowling, unfriendly natives – usually abates after several years in situ.

5.     Cardiac arrest brought on by excessive consumption of waffles and hot dogs. However, this is somewhat balanced out by the prohibitive cost of take-aways which in Ireland seems to be a weekly, if not twice-weekly event for many city dwellers. Absence of fish ‘n’ chip shops is also in Norway’s favour. Oh and then there’s the shoe-leather quality of the beef which means one never actually eats red meat. OK, so scrap this one.

6.     Increased risk of skin cancer. I spent five years living in the tropics with a swimming pool in my garden. I never sunbathed, never wore less than SPF 50. After the worst winter in decades, I now understand why so many Norwegian women over 40 have obvious sun-damage on their faces.  It’s now near impossible to resist the temptation to raise one’s face to the sun like a flower seeking sustenance. To hell with wrinkles, to hell with age spots and moles; I’ve survived winter, I deserve to feel the sun on my face (and arms, legs, tummy etc.).  Irish people do of course have the same desire to feel the sun damage their faces but unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps) clouds, rain and generally inclement weather have a mitigating effect on this particular health hazard.

 Anyone got anymore? I can’t have exhausted the list…….