7.12.07

A Joke for you..

In case there is anybody out there still checking in to this Blog, I'm going to post a joke sent by my friend Michelle who lives in Australia where I guess the weather hasn't driven the humour right out of them, well the good humour at least. I know it's really, really annoying for a site, even a liddle one such as this not to be updated regularily but frankly over the past few weeks I haven't had the heart, time or sufficient sleep to produce an original, entertaining thought. I flatter myself, I know, in implying that that is what I normally do :-)
Enjoy the joke, apologies to whomever wrote it originally and hopefully I'll get back to writing the usual drivel again soon. There's always the photo of my new, shiney red shoes which would make Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz weep with envy to post. Betcha can't wait for that, can ya?

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to> lights and darks.> > > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.> > > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.> > > Get in the shower.> > > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone> > > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.> > > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.> > > > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.> > > W ash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.> > > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.> > > Rinse conditioner off hair.> > > Shave armpits and legs.> > > Turn off shower.> > > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.> > > Spray mold spots with Tilex.> > > Get out of shower.> > > Dry with towel the size of a small country.> > > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.> > > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you> see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.> > > > HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:> > > > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.> >> Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.> > > Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener> and scratch your ass.> > > Get in the shower.> > > Wash your face.> > > Wash your armpits.> > > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.> > > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.> > > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.> > > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.> > > Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk.> > > Pee. ;> > Rinse off and get out of shower.> > > Partially dry off.> > > Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.> > > Admire wiener size in mirror again.> > > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.> > > Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.> > > Throw wet towel on her pillow.

3 comments:

beaverboosh said...

Johanna darling,
I'm not sure why you think this is funny, I fail to see the humour in this at all. It must be a chick thing. Except for the "shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again". I always have a good laugh at that!
Beaverboosh

Anonymous said...

Hi,

I read your drivel regularly and enjoy it. Please keep writing frequently. (And I never shower like that. Well, once a year I don't shake my weiner, just for a change.)
Regards, an Englishman living near Oslo.

Oslo said...

Oh you guys! I can feel the muse returning already. Must go shower first though.
Jo